SHORT STORY YAAAYYY!!

   Ok so I've had a lot on my mind the past couple months trying to come up with a really good short story that could be made into a movie fairly easily. I really want to get into short story writing anyway so this project would help to establish some credibility.
   I believe I have come up with a fairly interesting plot and storyline and I want YOU to let me know what you think about it. Read the outline below and leave comments, questions, suggestion, etc. I hope you like it!

•    Section-1: WWII, U.S., before the draft of 1940 , a man by the name of William Carter (having trouble with that name, main character) and his best friend, Henry Babbage, are graduating high school in the summer of '40. They talk about the draft. ~yadda yadda~. They're drafted in October that year and go to war.
•    Section-2: fast-forward to December 1944, Battle of St. Vith near the border of Germany. Will and Henry are part of the 106th infantry. They manage to push back the Germans beyond the city limits. One early morning the Germans make a counteroffensive and make a run at the city with tanks. Will and Henry are on the front line fighting. A panzer is heading down the road straight for them. It gets a shot off and blows right by them. They run for cover into the basement of a nearby building as the tank fires for them again, hitting the building and collapsing the entrance they just came through. Will stumbles to his feet and runs over to Henry who seems to be badly hurt. He hoists him on his shoulders and makes his way through the basement only to find that the stairs that lead up are caved in. Will looks around and finds a set of stairs that lead down, hoping that there might be another way out. The stairs go several stories down before they come to a large blast door. The power has been knocked out so the door is not operational. Will sets down Henry and looks for tools to open the door. He finds a  large metal bar and slowly pry's the door open. He again carry's Henry through the door and down a long tunnel in the dark. Part way down the tunnel lights start to turn on in his presence and the tunnel turns from brick to solid white, clean walls. At the end of this white tunnel there is another door that has a swastika on it and an advanced control panel next to it. An eye above the door scans them and turns green. The door unseals and opens for them. He enters into a dark room. When the door closes, bright lights slowly illuminate the room which is also completely white. The room in about 3 stories high and more long than wide. They are standing on a platform on the second story of the room looking down into the room. At the end of the room is a large white circle with stairs leading up to it. Several large control stations are on either side down the whole length of the room. Will can hear generators turn on and see lights start to blink on the control panels as the lights flicker on. He finds stairs and sets Henry down at the bottom of them. They have an "inspiring" conversation and Henry dies. There is a main console in the center of the room with the current date and time on it. He figures out that it's an experimental time machine that the German's were going to use to go back and stop Allied attacks that they already knew about, therefor giving them the advantage to win the war. Will then programs the machine it to go back before the attack on St. Vith (or before they were drafted perhaps, entirely new plot-line?)
  Will steps through the gate and is instantly transported back in time 2 or 3 days, into his own body (no back to the future nonsense here with 2 of the same people in one timeline, oy) with Henry standing next to him. He has a small emotional outburst, but calms down. Henry of course wondering what the heck is wrong with him.
  Will begins to talk crazily about the counterattack from the Germans and that the General should take extra precautions after taking the city. Will never mentions the time-machine for fear of being judged as a crazy person. The next night, the General has called in extra platoons to guard the city and as predicted by Will the Germans launch a counterstrike. The Germans are obviously overwhelmed and outnumbered and do not take back the city. Will and Henry never get shot at and never stumble upon the cellar with the time machine.
  Will NEVER mentions his experience to anyone.
•    Section-3: different part of the war, 194X, Will and Henry are in the trenches perhaps?
  Epic battle scenes and such. ~yadda yadda~ Henry ends up dieing AGAIN. Will is torn about the incident. He has pretty much convinced himself that the whole time machine thing was a complete dream or something. He decides to see if it really was or not. He journeys to St. Vith after the war is over, finds the same building that supposedly has the time machine in it. The cellar doors are locked. The building has been turned into something (into what?). He ends up settling down in the town temporarily, falls in love, EPIC romance occurs, ~yadda yadda~,(perhaps his new Love dies?) he ends up getting down into the cellar and find the stairs that go down. Once again breaks open the blast door, walks down the hallway that turns white, gets scanned by the advanced door and gains access to the large white room with the time machine in it. Will programs the machine to go back BEFORE the war even starts, when he and Henry were graduating high school. He convinces Henry to NOT join the military. Henry never dies in the war. (maybe Henry dies some years later from cancer or something? and Will learns that death can't be stopped?)
•    Section-4: fast-forward again to 199X, back to Will and Henry's hometown.
  Will is old (around 70?). He and his family; wife, 2 kids(son and daughter), 3 grandchildren are walking up a hill, visiting a cemetery (maybe coming from a funeral?). The family is talking amongst themselves when they notice that Will has wondered off. They spot him staring at a gravestone marked 'Henry Babbage, 1921-19XX (what should the ending date be?)'. The family goes silent, Will begins to tear up and falls to his knees. They give him his peace for a few minutes, then his wife steps forward and helps him up. He turns to leave, stops after a few steps, turns back to the grave, puffs up his chest, puts his legs together, and proceeds to give a stern salute, still teary-eyed. Will returns to his family and they continue walking. Family wonders why he gave salute since Will was never IN the military in this timeline. Epic Lulz. End story/movie.
  

Seriously, give me your criticisms about this, I want to know what you guys think. Is it good? Bad? What does and doesn't it need? Anything at all will help. This will be an ongoing project for me.

Always,
JW